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Wisecrack

Aquarius: You realize that with enough Super Glue and yarn, you can make thousands of brightly colored yurts for underprivileged parakeets. Go for it: It’ll keep you out of trouble and let your guardian angel finally check into rehab.
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Senior Center M

enus The Carroll County Senior Activity and Wellness Center is located at 202 W. Madison Ave. in Berryville. The center is open from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Thursday and from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Friday. Lunch is served at noon each weekday. The suggested donation for ages 60 and up is $4. There is a $6 charge for those under 60 and all carryout meals. Menus are subject to change.
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Wisecrack

Zodiac Cancer: A lucky leprechaun keeps trying to give you his gold, but you’re dodging him at every turn. Stop and take a nice gift from the Universe, otherwise that little green guy will get angry. And you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
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Wisecrack

Zodiac Beth Bartlett Taurus: You want to be like Lord Byron: mad, bad and dangerous to know. But in reality, you’re just slightly miffed, inconvenient and accidentally in someone’s phone contacts as “Brfol.” Start wearing leather pants and driving a technicolor VW bus to get your reputation going.
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Wisecrack

Zodiac ARIES: Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug, but on Tuesday you’re the wiper, running back and forth while covered in bug guts. Don’t worry, there’s a cutie ready to share a bubble bath with you later.
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Wisecrack

Zodiac Aries: Your personality lights up a room, but people only invite you over so they can find missing puzzle pieces under the sofa. Keep them in the dark, because you’re off to a bright new career as a mobile tanning salon.
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Wisecrack

Zodiac Pisces: Every day can’t be all rainbows and lollipops; sometimes it’s unicorns, teddy bears and free pizzas, too. Enjoy the smooth ride; it’s a nice change after navigating that bumpy road for so long.
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Wisecrack

Zodiac PISCES: Usually you delicately sip from the fountain of nice things, but this week you’re drinking from the fire hose of awesomeness. Sure, your makeup is smudged and you slosh when you walk, but you have enough blessings to keep you hydrated for months.
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