c.2024, Hanover Square Press, $32.99, 336 pages
It was a little hard to swallow.
In fact, the premise of the entire flick stunk up the room and stuck in your craw until you could barely stand watching anymore. Ugh, no matter how much popcorn you stuffed in your mouth, no matter how many refills of soda you drank, as in the new book “Box Office Poison” by Tim Robey, some films just leave a bad taste in your mouth.
You know it when you see it: a movie that you regretted spending money on, and when you learn about the budgets for those stinkeroos, you’re astounded. Obviously, says film critic Robey, money (or lack thereof) indicates nothing. Think “Titanic”, which was expected “to be a fiasco” despite its budget; or “The Blair Witch Project,” which was “made for peanuts” and was also a box-office success.
And then there are the films that should just, straight-up “be fed to the wolves headfirst…”
Take, for instance, a 1916 film by D.W. Griffith, who directed the infamously racist “The Birth of a Nation.” That film, “Intolerance” was so bloated, budget-wise, that it didn’t even recoup half the money spent on its filming.
The start of World War II, says Robey, wasn’t the worst thing that happened to “The Magnificent Ambersons,” directed by Orson Welles. No, the travesty was that RKO executives ordered the destruction of Welles’ original negatives, in part because Welles made enemies as solidly as he made movies.
The first “Dr. Doolittle” (1967) received Oscars, but also harsh words from critics and cast. “Sorcerer” (1977) lost out because of unfortunate timing: it was released at the same time as Star Wars. Even the costume designer was reportedly “shocked” at how bad “Dune” was. “Cutthroat Island” flopped so hard that it was listed as such in the Guinness Book of Records for years. And “Gigli,” well, nobody buzzes about a movie if they can’t pronounce the title …
Quick: Think of the worst movie you ever saw. On second thought, maybe you’d rather forget it forever, as a self-preservation, self-care sort of way.
Or maybe it’s listed inside “Box Office Poison.”
From the absolute disasters to movies you might’ve actually loved once, and reasons why stinky movies are increasingly rare, author Tim Robey offers a loser’s list that fans will love. Indeed, it may invite argument — and maybe a list of your own — but in the same way that watching a bad movie can be twisted- enjoyable, so is this book. There’s a lot of schadenfreude-like awfulness here for regular movie-goers and Hollywood watchers, so don’t forget the popcorn. And because Robey’s side comments are so much snarky fun and so dead-on, reading this book is like going to a Bad Film Festival with your friend who’s totally tuned in.
Movie lovers who get demented delight in watching Hollywood’s worst alongside its best, will want to read, share, and use as this book as a springboard for discussion. If you’ve got a case of the holiday-movie blahs, “Box Office Poison” is the perfect antidote.
