APRIL 27

■ 9:50 a.m. — Officers responded to a call of a person walking their dog and letting the animal poop in the yard of an apartment complex. When someone told him not to do that, the person walking the dog allegedly made threats. Officers advised the dog-walker to stay off the property. Maybe tell the dog to stay off the property? After all, it’s the dog, not the dog-walker, who’s the property-pooper. We hope.

APRIL 28

■ 3:24 a.m. — An officer responded to a call of a fight in front of a local chapel. Must have been Bingo Night.

APRIL 29

■ 2:28 a.m. —An officer responded to a call of an intoxicated person in front of a local hotel. The individual was assisted back to their room.

■ 8:43 a.m. — An officer responded to a call of someone who appeared to be passed out in their vehicle near the temporary stoplight, not responding to honks. An officer and EMS arrived on scene but couldn’t locate the vehicle. Oh, come on. We had a great 90-minute nap at that stoplight just last week!

■ 11:03 p.m. — Officers responded to a business on a call of loud music but all checked out OK.

APRIL 30

■ 1:48 a.m. — Officers responded to a call of a person walking down a road having a medical emergency. The officers assisted the individual until EMS arrived.